After a loss in Court.

I saw a Facebook post that said, “Every time you criticize yourself, your brain gets better at it. Take back control.”

How do we take back control?

As most of you know, I am a lawyer in Nashville. In the past, if I lost a case, I would beat myself up verbally. You’re a failure. You’re not good enough.  You might as well give up.

When those thoughts about being a failure came out of my mouth, my brain definitely heard it. Those thoughts and those words led to emotions that did not feel good, such as defeat, depression, and low self-esteem.  Those feelings led to undesirable actions, such as over eating, scrolling on social media, too much television, or too much shopping.

When I started learning about negative thoughts, and the effects on our emotions, I also learned how to change my perspective and turn that whole scenario round.

After a loss , I tell myself:

I did the best with what I had to work with. I am not a failure because I lost one case.

I lost this case, but I learned something I can use in future trials.

Losing that case was based  on factors that have nothing to do with my skills and abilities.

Look back at the trial to see the small wins. Did you make objections that were sustained and kept evidence out?

Did you have your exhibits organized and ready to go?

After losing a trial or motion hearing, I began keeping a list of things I learned as a result so that I would implement it in the next hearing.

As lawyers, we are not going to win every case. We are not going to lose every case.

But at the time of a loss when you’re feeling low, change your perspective.

On a practical level, Do you have trusted colleagues who you could talk with?

I’m usually famished after a trial. So get something good to eat. Get some rest.

You are you are too important to your clients to get stuck in those negative cycles.

I am hosting a female lawyers retreat on November 13, 14th and 15 2026 in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Check out my website. livingintentionally.co for more information. I’d love to see you there.